राम नदी काठच्या भुताची व्यथा

Original Post Date - 26 Jan 2011

आज १०-१२ वर्षे झालीत मला इथे राम नदीच्या काठी गुण्या गोविंदाने राहायला.. पण परवा ३ डिसेंबर ला माझी पुरती झोप उडाली..

जवळच एका मोठ्या साहेबांचा बंगला आहे.. बंगला कसला, महालच म्हणा कि.. साहेबांच्या मुलाची सोयरिक दिल्ली च्या मुलीशी आणि मुलीचे लग्न म्हणे एका माजी क्रिकेट पटूच्या मुलाशी जमले (कि झाले?).. असे परवा एक पत्रकार भूत सांगत होता.

असो.. आम्हाला काय त्याचे सोय-सुतक?

 पण.. ३ डिसेंबर ला कसला तरी (कदाचित आपल्या व्याह्यांना खुश करण्यासाठी)  कार्यक्रम साहेबांच्या घरी होता.. आता साहेबांचे तसे कौतुक आहेच मला.. एकतर मराठी असून धंदा करतात.. शिवाय हेलीकॉप्टर्स पण आहेत त्याच्या कडे.. (त्यांचे हेलीकॉप्टर कमळवाले, धनुष्य-बाणवाले सुद्धा सर्रास वापरतात म्हणे.. सह्याद्रीचे फोटो काढण्यासाठीच हो..)

संध्याकाळी ७ वाजता सुरु झालेला कार्यक्रम छान पैकी हेड-फोन लावावेत इतका छान कानावर पडत होता.. हळू हळू तो आदळू लागला.. पण असते एकेकाला हौस म्हणून सगळे गप्पा बसले.. डेसिबल कि काय म्हणे सगळे धाब्यावर!!

रात्र झाली.. सभ्य माणसाच्या भूतासारखे आम्ही झोपायचा प्रयत्न करू लागलो.. पण तो (कर्कश्य) आवाज काही झोपू देईना..

साडे अकरा वाजले .. मग मी १०० नंबर वर फोन केला.. शंबर नंबर वाले पण एक नंबर आहेत... म्हणाले “हो का? असा का? कुठे? मघाशी तुम्हीच फोन केलात ना?” मी म्हटले अहो नाही.. आताच फोन करतोय.. सुप्रीम कोर्टाची ऑर्डर आहे रात्री १० नंतर .. वगैरे वगैरे..

“आमचा शिपाई गेला आहे.. होईल बंद इतक्यात.. “

साडे बारा वाजता पुन्हा फोन केला.. पुन्हा तेच.. “हो का? अजून बंद नाही झाला? आमचा शिपाई गेला आहे.. होईल बंद इतक्यात..”

एक वाजून १० मिनिटे .. “हो का? अजून बंद नाही झाला? ... तुम्ही.. अच्छा तुम्ही भूताजी बोलताय ना? राम नदी च्या काठी राहता? बरोबर?”

मी वैतागून.. "साहेब, तुमच्या पुढे कॉम्प्युटर आहे आणि तुम्हाला कॉलर आयडी वरून सगळे काळात असेल हे माहीत आहे मला.. "

..नाही, तसे नाही.. आम्ही २-३ वेळा माणूस पाठवला आम्ही तरी अजून काय करणार?

थोडक्यात, माझा नाव पत्ता सांगून साहेबांनी माझा पत्ता कट केला.. तुम्ही पुन्हा फोन केलात तर तुमचे नाव,नंबर बंगल्या वाल्या साहेबांपर्यंत पोचेल..अशी गोड धमकी मला मिळाली होती..

शेवटी, रात्री २ वाजून २० मिनिटांनी बंगल्या वाल्या साहेबांना आमची दया (भूतदया) आली!!  मुन्नी बदनाम हुवी "क्ष क्ष" तेरे लिये.. अशी आरोळी माईक वरून झाली.... दुसर्या दिवशी पेपर मधून काही बातमी आली असेल.. पण काही नाही.. साहेबांनी सत्ताधारी आणि विरोधी दोन्हींना खिशात ठेवले असल्याने कोणी चकार काढला नाही..

हेच जर का माझ्या सारख्या सामान्य भुताने केले असते tar.. ४-५ सायरन वाल्या गाड्या आल्या असत्या आणि मी तुरुंगात बसलो असतो.

शेवटी, बळी तो कान पिळी!!

Engine Vs Horn

Original Post Date - 21 Jan 2011

Today, while riding on my bike on Pune road, I realized that “No matter how powerful your engine is, you must have good loud horn to move forward on Pune roads”.

How true this is in life also, isn’t it? No matter how qualified, experienced or capable you are, until you have good (self) marketing skills you can not get what you deserve.

We are living in modern world where that sharp eye sight which could see the difference between real and unreal is not there. Therefore, we need look polished to look good. J

I remember one childhood story about the old man and his sons…it was something like this..

There was a wood merchant living is small town of India. He was having good sense of which wood is good or bad and which is precious like sandalwood. Unfortunately, none of his sons were in this business. During his last days when he felt that he may not live longer, he called his sons and told that after he dies, he should be burnt using the sandalwood logs kept on the roof and remaining wood can be sold and they can share the money.

After few days when he passed away, his obedient sons went on roof and tried to find the sandalwood. They saw there are two types of woods on roof, one were in large quantity and in very raw form and another one was smaller in quantity but in finished and polished form. All of them saw each other and questioned which one is the sandalwood?

Based on the logic that our father must be keeping only better quality wood in fished format, they picked up the finished form of wood and used that for burning the merchant’s body.

After few days, they called one buyer to see the wood; he immediately found that which one is real sandalwood. They realized that how great there father was as he left tons of sandalwood for them. However, they could not fulfill his last wish.

So the moral of the story, be presentable!!

Sanjay Sonar

Income Tax

Original Post Date - 10 Jan 2011

For some reason, I hate unethical but legal practices more than illegal but ethical once.

e.g. Income tax – lol

On serious note, I have some views and counter views for paying income tax.

Views-

First of all, I wonder how come govt decides on the magic figure of 30% tax.

Here are my reasons that why I don’t deserve to pay that much tax..

• I have my own house purchased from private builder (I have no flat in Adarsh society or similar, I swear!). Neither my house is from MHADA, CISCO or HUDCO.
• I have taken loan from bank, with market interest rate and I am paying that back also.
• I purchase drinking water (cane) and utility water (tanker).
• My family is using private hospitals for any health problems. We have not seen any govt hospital till date (luckily!).
• My kids are going to private schools and no subsidy in fees.
• I am paying toll on almost each and every good road when I use it.
• Government is no longer giving me high subsidy in Petrol and LPG.
• I am paying electricity bills with highest per unit rate as I use it lot! (Thanks to load shedding which try to save some units)
• I am paying for parking on road, malls, multiplexes
• I am not entitled to use “rationed” food as I am not BPL
• I have private security at my complex.
• I am paying fat ticket prices for travelling as I go by private travels.

So, all in all, other than securing borders and keeping law and order in city, I rarely get any returns out of my 30%. I should pay taxes but not that much.

And again, why 30%, why government doesn’t make it 50% or 70%? Who will stop them?

Counter view –

I just returned from my college’s Alumni function. It is fully government aided college in Mumbai. Now even those fees have increased, but during my time, I took education with very less than private (even art and science) colleges.

I have used (and misused) pure corporation water for many years.

If not me, but my many poor countrymen need government hospitals.

If not my children, but next generation of my nation need education.

May be I don’t need MHADA house, but my dear solders and policemen need it.

With this, I accept that I must pay taxes but I wish that those are fully utilized for my nation and should not go to few people’s pocket.

May be this 30% will come down to 10%, when all my countrymen are self sufficient and are eligible to pay taxes. And more importantly all shop owners, businessmen, doctors, lawyers, film actors, sports persons CAs pay correct taxes.

Jai-Hind!!

Sanjay Sonar